Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Bissage Wrestles with Matters of Great Importance

Believe it or not, gentle blog reader, verily, as I type, some of my fellow Althousians have worked themselves into a froth and are insulting each other over matters collateral to duct tape and frostbite at the tail end of this comment thread. Such diversions are both highly amusing and highly satisfying, I should imagine.

Nevertheless, if you keep very still, and if you listen very carefully, you just might hear the soft voice of reason somewhere off in the vanishing distance.

Oh well. So it goes.

But enough of that!!! I have important work to do, seeing as how I am a very busy man.

Yes, my many astoundingly cultured internet friends, as in the olden days of yore, now is the time to take the music CDs from my car and put them back on the shelves WHERE THEY BELONG!!1!!!!1!!!!!!!

(1) The Who, “My Generation (Deluxe Edition)”;
(2) Elvis Costello, “The Best of Elvis Costello and the Attractions”;
(3) Eric Dolphy, “Out to Lunch!”;
(4) Elvis Costello, “Armed Forces”;
(5) Badfinger, “Straight Up”;
(6) Bill Evans, “Verve Jazz Masters 5”;
(7) Everclear, “The Vegas Years”;
(8) Julian Bream, “J.S. Bach: Chaconne, etc.”;
(9) The Strokes, “First Impressions of Earth”;
(10) The Smashing Pumpkins, “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness”; and
(11) Green Day, “American Idiot”.

There you have it, folks, yet again!

And . . . finally . . . MY PENIS IS HUGE!1!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!


Cut It said...

Mr. Bissage:

Are you quite sure there is a Ms. Bissage?

And if so, are you certain she wouldn't be happy with a polygamous situation?

Already hooked by the humor and intelligence and then you reveal your record collection? Radiohead, Elliott Smith, the Beatles, the Strokes...

Not to mention the, er, coup de grace, as it were...

Bissage said...

Oh, I’m absolutely positive there’s a Mrs. Bissage, all right. I’m about as married as a man can get.

I’m very flattered by your offer of polygamous marriage, Cut It, but I’m monogamous to a fault. Suffice it to say that I once dated two women at the same time and it didn’t last two weeks. Even though I was completely above board about the situation, it drove me so crazy with guilt that I had to break up with both ladies so as not to take sides.

That is but one aspect of a great failing on my part. How I manage to earn a living in the work-a-day rat race remains a complete mystery to me, nice guy that I am.

But please keep enjoying my internet stuff and please leave a comment whenever you might feel the urge. I don’t use sitemeter or anything like that to keep track of who's reading. I’m not that serious about blogging but I get a genuine thrill out of knowing that I’m making people happy.

It’s an altruistic impulse.

Call it a weakness.

Triangle Man said...

Cut It may not make a habit of propositioning bloggers, but I'm guessing more than a few men might be subconsciously wary of someone with that moniker. Lorena lurks in the recesses of our psyches.

Meade said...

"Don't ever take the law into your own hands."
- Lorena Bobbit 2008

Bissage said...

I wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that Cut It wields a power far greater than our earthly Ms. Bobbitt.

After all, even Zeus feared Atropos.

Good thing she's on our side!

Cut It said...

Never fear, gentlemen.

As I recall, I came up with the moniker when I felt it necessary to comment on the insipid ravings of another, inferior blogger site.

So it's Cut It as in cut the shit, not the peemaker.

I could certainly never bring myself to harm something as purportedly prodigious and effective as Mr. Bissage's...coup de grace.

Triangle Man said...

To celebrate my relief about Cut It, I have created "Bissage's Car Radio" on Pandora using this list of artists plus Chicago. The first song that Pandora suggested after Pinball Wizard was Led Zeppelin's Living Loving Maid.

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