Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Six Domestic Banalities

I find myself inspired by this post at Althouse. Accordingly, I set forth six domestic banalities for your internet reading pleasure . . . or not.

(1) For my lunch today, Mrs. Bissage packed a chili dog, some raisins, some wasabi almonds and some Christmas cookies. Apple sauce. A multi-vitamin. A pill for my prostate; that would be Dongasil®. A napkin.

(2) I found out this morning that my prostate is acting up again. I thought I was done peeing, so I tucked everything back in my trousers. But then it started back up all by itself so I yanked it all back out again, real quick, but I ended up spraying stanky golden bladder juice all over the place.

Some of it got on my pants but I just ignored it and let it dry because I’m of Germanic heritage so I’m one of those lucky guys who appear to be much cleaner than they really are. No one will ever know.

(3) I’ve been sleeping with a dark blue bath towel on my pillow, lately, because I’m getting over a head cold and I woke up a few days ago with a nose bleed that surged like the Colorado River.

(4) When I get home from work today, I fully expect to find that Mrs. Bissage has mopped the kitchen floor. When I left this morning she had already moved the chairs out and she had the bucket and mop ready to go. She’s good that way.

(5) For dinner tonight I think we’re having sandwiches; grilled boneless chicken breast marinated in garlic stuff. I'll probably do the grilling. I always say I absolutely refuse but then I have a drink or two and then I end up doing it, anyway.

I like roasted green peppers and melted provolone on mine. There will be French fries. I like to dip them in spaghetti sauce with a shot of Tabasco. I'll probably skip dessert. I'm on a diet.

(6) After dinner, I’m going to brush the dog on the floor in front of the TV. That’s because it’s Wednesday. Usually, I take the dog’s hair and I make a little wig out of it and put it on one of the cats dozing on the sofa so he looks like a little four-legged George Washington.

Then Mrs. Bissage and I laugh at him. We will tell him that he has been "humili-catted." We think that's funny. We do it all the time.


Meade said...

"We do it all the time."


Oh you young people!

Bissage said...

And some women have laughter thrust upon them.

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