Saturday, November 28, 2009


And do not click this music video. Do not watch. Do not listen. It is three minutes and thirteen seconds of cringing embarassment. Truly awful, it is nothing less than execrable.Plodding. Leaden. Lethargic. Lazy. It is the pop rock equivalent of Jacob Marley dragging yard after yard of heavy chain, cashboxes and ledgers, except nothing good will ever come of it, whatsoever.

This is the kind of musical performance that demonstrates in graphic detail exactly what too much cocaine did to you back in the early 1980s, even if you were young and in your prime. Kids, just say no.

And, truth be told, these guys didn't really get laid all that much. They were way too geeky and the slutty chicks were dumb but not so dumb that they didn't remember being in high school. What made the difference, of course, was lots and lots of cocaine. But these were the kind of guys who didn't share, the selfish bastards. Given the choice, they'd rather have the blow.

I will, however, say something in their defense. They were clean and they were well-groomed. At least that's something.

What NERDS!!1!!!!!

And you know what? Marshall Suck-My-Craw was so absolutely terrible, even his wikipedia entry is a pile of steaming crap.

And why the hell are you reading this, anyway? I told you not to, dammit. Now go away. That's right. Get the fuck out of here. NOW!!!

P.S. Marshall Crenshaw sings like a girl!1!!!!!1!!!!!!


Cut It said...

Awwww. That song doesn't get played nearly enough, but oh how happy it makes me to hear it.

Bissage said...

To the first part, I heartily agree. To the second part, I say good.

The crash and burn of the supernaturally talented Marshall Crenshaw was something of a sad vindication for all of us who never pursued our dream, never gave it our all, never went all in, never put our heart in it, never, ever really tried all that hard to make it in the music business.

Don’t believe me? Go ahead. Ask any cool dude between age 40 and 50 who never made it.

If he acts like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about . . . well, there’s all the proof you should ever need.

Cut It said...

No need to ask a dude. I was going to be a rock star too. Or, at a minimum, live in London. How far less cool and refined is my real life. My boyfriend was going to have a career in music too. The difference is--he actually has talent. (That's right-- I asked you to marry me and I have a boyfriend. Seriously, monogamy is soooo....unrealistic.)

Like you, we are lawyers. And while, I love being a lawyer in many ways and love my particular job--it ain't hardly cool.

But you do something creative and cool! And I'm sure your novel will be out any day!!!! Right?

Bissage said...

(1) Or, at a minimum, live in London.

LOL at that!

(2) I am glad to hear of your happiness in lawyering, which ought never be confused with layering, which I believe is something haircutters used to do in the 1970s.

(3) Creative and cool? Ha! You make me all blushified.

There will be no novel, I assure you. Writing one would constitute work and doing work would obligate me to take myself seriously and I’d rather remove my own spleen with a red-hot corkscrew than do that. Taking myself seriously makes me unhappy.

Novelist? Heck, I don’t even think of myself as a blogger. I am an Althouse commenter whose strong sense of conscience prevents him from dumping any more junk there than he does already. “Suddenly Bissage!!!” is for comment overflow. When I hit the publish button, it’s like turning on the sump pump.


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